This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. I have been kicking it around for the last year and am now ready to share it with as many people as I can reach. This is part one of what I plan to make an on going series……
As the 2013 holiday season had reached its apex, and I rushed around trying to do way more than is good for me, I had an epiphany. I had set larger than normal goals for myself, including the obligatory “get the house clean”, and had felt I was doing rather well. Things were getting done! I felt like Super Mom! Then I turned around and saw the newest mess my kids had made. I became discouraged. I was never going to have everything done, my home would never be spotless. I would always fail at being The Perfect Mom and house wife. I sat down and went over the events of my day, where had I gone wrong? What more could I have done? Then it hit me. We have all made a grave mistake! Every time we hear Super Mom we think The Perfect Mom. I was making that mistake right at that moment!
The Perfect Mom is like the Holy Grail, we’ve all heard the stories of it, the glories and wonders of it, and many of us have almost killed ourselves trying to obtain that lofty title. She can throw a party on short notice that you would think she’d had weeks to plan. The parties she does have time to plan out make even Martha Stewart and the greatest of the Pinterest mavens jealous. She always looks her best. Her hair, make-up and nails are all done and lovely. Her kids are always clean and well behaved. Her house is always spotless. She has time for all her kids’ events and activities, the PTA, the gym and book club. She is always calm, composed and even smiling. But, like the Holy Grail, I don’t know of anyone who ever actually seen, much less become one of these great legendary beings.
Super Moms are something else though, something more real and easier to reach. Super Moms are more like Super Heroes. Right down to the traumatic life changing moment that’s in every good back story. You remember the moment, I bet you even remember the exact date, a few of us even remember the exact time! That moment you brought your baby into the world. The moment you became Mom.
Or, for some, you have chosen to adopt, foster, or become Sept-Mothers, taking in someone else’s little one and loving them as your own. That too is a Super Power. To treat someone else’ child as your own flesh and love them as much as any birth Mother. I applaud you. All children deserve love, and it takes someone special to do what you are doing.
Since then you have learned to do all manner of things that are beyond the reach of many. There is little you can’t do one handed, on almost no sleep, while someone repeatedly calls your name in the background. Is your house always spotless? Nope. You’re not Perfect, you are Super Mom. Most the Moms I know can clean the main parts of their house in the 30 minutes between when they get the call someone is on the way over and when they are at the front door.
You are the one that takes care of every other member of your household, no matter how sick you might be at the time. Meals get made, things get clean, projects get done, errands get run, and kids get cared for. No matter how little sleep you have, no matter how sick you are, no matter how bad Mother Nature kicks you once a month, you keep going. You move on, you get things done. If that isn’t Super, I don’t know what is.
It’s not always perfect, it’s not always when you want it done, and yes there are things that slip through the cracks. But you aren’t perfect, and that is ok. Why? Cause you are Super Mom. Its a title you have earned, you have cried, sweated and bled for it. Own it. Enjoy it!
Not only should we accept and enjoy this title ourselves, but we should encourage other Super Moms so see this in themselves and claim the title too. I have seen too many good Moms emotionally beat themselves up trying to fit into the image of The Perfect Mom. They do so good a job of it that they can’t see their true worth.
One of the greatest things that has happened in my maternal life (aside from the birth of my kids) is earlier that year I was invited to join a Moms Group. More amazing still is for the first time in my life I found a group of Moms I “fit in” with. We all have different walks of life, and styles of doing things, but the two things we all have in common is we all have kids, and we all encourage each other! We share our triumphs and our trip ups, and there is always someone there to say “Yay for you!” or “Sorry to hear it hon.”. Building each other up is one of the greatest things we can do for each other.